Tuesday, November 17, 2009


It seemed almost serendipitous that while driving around the area, I was listening to ABC Radio National.  At the time, the announcers were talking about a German philosopher, Heidegger and I had a mini epiphany while listening.  Apparently he owned a small property up in the remote forests of Germany, having chickens, etc and when asked "why go somewhere so lonely ?", he quipped about it not being lonely at all, the loneliest places where to be found in the City,  He craved solitude, not loneliness.  I had for the longest time though it must be loneliness I was searching for and then realised it wasn't, what my soul was craving was solitude.

This concept of solitude over loneliness also hit home when watching the movie Into the Wild where near the end he makes a note in his book about "Happiness is only real if shared".  Coming to understand this also affected me profoundly.

Looking back, the time I felt truly at peace was camping in the middle of the Simpson Desert with a good friend, for of all the places on land, the desert is one true place you can find solitude.  There is nothing except the song of the desert.  This photo, taken when out there, is a poignant reminder of that.

Sales Contract

The sales contract came through today. I am a little tied up in knots; excited, nervous, scared all at once.

To get here has taken a long time (years) and I am still not sure it's for me. I never seem to be completely sure of anything I guess but none the less, this is the path I have chosen.

Some years ago my father died, this affected me quite considerably, I am not even sure why. This led me into some reflection, then depression (self diagnosed), a break up of my marriage and me distancing myself from my friends as I tried to sort things out in my own head, to give myself a proper sense of perspective. I have never been one for ensuring friendships are kept close, which probably means they are more like acquaintances, albeit some have helped me more then they know.

My only incredible regret in life (so far) is how badly I have made my ex-wife feel, she deserved so much more, she truly is a wonderful person but I walked away from her, she tried so very hard, and the pain she feels, for one she loves so dearly, is palpable.

I had been reading a book at the time I was driving around, something non fiction, and a quote from it resonated with me as soon as I visited the property originally, so to me, this is how it will always be know. I am going to have to find someone that knows Yiddish, so that I ensure I pronounce it properly.

Why the name ? Menucha nechona = Loosely translated from the Yiddish apparently means "Perfect Rest". Something I ache for, metaphorically.

On the map above, the house is the blue dot, the orange dots are the sheds, the purple dots are the farm Dams. The clearing behind the house is a fire break clearing on State Forest (5600 Hectare state forest backs onto the property)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

West of Grafton

Found a property that appealed the first time I looked at it. Seem'd to have nearly everything I wanted but I needed to be sure.

My journey here was long and tortuous, to me... yet by comparison to the path others have travelled, my tortured path is of little significance. I guess, in that respect, everything is relative

I will let it sit for a while, and revisit the idea of making an offer.